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GUEST POST – SELF LOVE: Don’t Forget About the Inside Job (Inspired by ‘Girls Trip’)

I am a woman of faith and yes, I went to see the movie, ‘Girl’s Trip.’

I’ll admit, some of the language was super heavy, similar to the language I’ve had to repent quickly from when someone cuts me off on the road and I get irritated (I bind road rage!)

Folks need to go on and be transparent with themselves and everyone else. How else do we expect to encourage someone along their spiritual journey? By pretending to be mistake-free and without error? Nope.

Now, overall, I laughed the majority of the movie, but it had the nerve to have a little message in the film and that’s really what I came here to talk about.

Although this isn’t a full recap of the film, you may want to pass on this post if you have yet to see it because it gives one of the story lines away a bit. Be sure and come back after you watch the movie to read the rest of this post.

The central character, Ryan (played beautifully by Regina Hall), was successful, intelligent, gorgeous and married to whom some may describe as an “Adonis.” I mean, I would too.

via GIPHY

The brother was the color of midnight, his eyes could have been the stars, his teeth the clouds and skin looked as soft as a gentle wind.

To outsiders looking in, she has it all – an abundance of finances, a booming career and an equally successful guy to share it with. But, the truth is, her friendships are found to be hanging on by a thread and her marriage is hanging off of a cliff.

I don’t know about you, but my friends are honest with me even when that honesty is an inconvenience to my ego, feelings or plans. For this exact reason, she has avoided her friends for years.

Ryan is aware that her husband is having an affair and has been having one (maybe more) for a while. However, with a brand that promotes a woman having it all and profiting from that brand, she weathers her thunderstorm of a marriage for the sake of appearances and hefty residuals.

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I mean building an empire under the guise of a successful love life and a self-help writing career doesn’t look convincing any longer should you divorce your husband and lose out on endorsements, right?

SELF LOVE: My friends are honest with me even if it is an inconvenience to my ego or feelings. Click To Tweet

Thankfully, she realizes that her peace, sanity and happiness cannot be bought and eventually accepts her truth.

How many men and women avoid their truth because they’ve invested so much into the lie?

How many stay in unfulfilled relationships and marriages for fear of being alone?

Might I add that being alone doesn’t have to equate to loneliness.

How many men and women remain in their relationships with the excuse that, “it’s a marriage”?

Well, of course it is, that’s all the more reason your mate should be mindful of his or her actions. Sadly enough, some remain in “situation-ships” and “misinterpretation-ships” too, and for less material possessions.

I remember attending a ladies-only get together and one of the attendees recalled how an acquaintance of hers said that she wasn’t leaving her cheating husband because she wasn’t willing to allow some other woman to step in and enjoy the fruits of her investment from years prior.

How many men and women share this logic (if I may call it that)?

But that amen moment came when seconds later another attendee said, “absolutely not!” She had left her own cheating husband far prior to that get-together and she shared how she managed to triumph and still live well after leaving a disrespectful partner.

I’m with her because when a mistake becomes a practice, there’s no excuse or rationalizing, sir/ma’am you’re doing this deliberately because you simply want to.

Then, you have to recognize that the treatment you’re allowing is a direct reflection of your own self-esteem. I have had some not-so-favorable relationship experiences and to tell the truth, at first, we think we cannot live happily without that person. The sun never seems to shine, music sucks, you don’t want to go anywhere and your eating pattern changes because you’re completely love sick.

Suddenly, you realize that the loss isn’t yours, it’s theirs and then you get your second wind plus your groove back!

via GIPHY

True joy and happiness is not found in things.

Trust me, when you dismiss people from your life that are only contributing hurt and disappointment, YOU win.

You win because you have recognized what’s required to have continued access to your personal space and you cancelled memberships for those who stop meeting the criteria. BOOM!

Happiness is an inside job that must be completed by YOU and there’s no need to ignore your own needs for materialistic gain or to keep up appearances.

SELF LOVE: Happiness is an inside job that must be completed by you & there’s no need to ignore your own needs for materialistic gainClick To Tweet

Eventually, the true picture surfaces and truthfully, the chatter you were trying to prevent is going to happen anyway.

Why?

Because people who have failed to do their own inside jobs find solace in picking others apart, it’s just that way.

In the meantime, honor your self-worth and minimize access to the one who is less deserving of it.

Now I can’t leave this post without asking for your two cents, so drop it below.

Until next time Xpressionists! XoXo

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Love don't cost a thing?! Sometimes it can cost you your worth - if you let it!Love and trust yourself to know that you can move and without jeopardizing your worth! This post says it all!

Auketria Manor

Hair/Relationships Blogger

Auketria is a full time working mom and author with a passion for hair care and modern relationships. When she’s not contributing, she’s working on her new book!

MISSION STATEMENT: “Aiming to bring readers the latest in haircare & hair styling trends while provoking fun-healthy debates about your favorite relationship topics .”

Get a copy of my book: Catching Feelings

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Love don't cost a thing?! Sometimes it can cost you your worth - if you let it! Love and trust yourself to know that you can move and without jeopardizing your worth! This post says it all!
Veronica Green
Entertainment addict - yes! Celebrity gossip - NO! I blog about all things entertainment and lifestyle , which includes, but not limited to: new music, movies, TV shows, books, parenting, food, finance tips, etc. Blog Xpressions caters to and celebrates women! We like to empower, educate and enrich lives!
http://www.blogxpressions.com

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